I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT

Writing this post has been running through my mind for the past few days. Do I celebrate it? Do I forget it? The day that changed my life. The day I was diagnosed with cancer, at a young age of 19! Bloody 19! It seems so long yet not so long ago, if that makes any sense. Cancer, really, me? I still feel baffled by it all on this very day. A teenager working on a business career and getting drunk at the weekend, normal me spending time with my wonderful, happy family and looking forward to a holiday I booked with the girls. 
That day, four years ago, I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT. 

So much has happened and changed in these past 4 years, I have lost a lot but also gained so much. I have lost a part of me, beautiful friends and a physical loss but at the same time I have gained a lot of friends, experience, support and memories. 
Having a cancer diagnosis has been a rough little journey, a constant feeling of happy one minute and sad the next. I still suffer with getting my head around how I had to fight for my life and how hard it is getting used to this new, normal me. 
Some people just float on and forget about cancer and everything that happened. For me, I can't forget about it, so I embrace my journey and experience, which is why I share it with you on here and work in fundraising to raise awareness of charities and cancer in young people.
I find it hard to forget about because now I have involved myself in the cancer world. A community which is very loving and supportive yet very hard and emotionally draining. 
There just isn't a happy medium. Cancer is an emotional battle and having all the treatment and being in hospital for 8 months was the easiest part, it's being alive and surviving that is the hardest part. Something that keeps me going is feeling blessed that I am still alive and well. 
I believe that everything happens for a reason and for some reason, I was given that awful news, which has shaped the person I am today and I wouldn't change it. 
That's a lie, I would like to change some things! Stopping pain, fatigue and chemo brain and for there to be a cure for cancer. My diagnosis has given me so many opportunities I couldn't imagine of ever experiencing if I wasn't involved in the cancer bubble. I am forever grateful of the amazing support from all the fantastic charities that are out there. Without generous people donating, there would be little support and care for young people like me! 
I am looking forward to another year being cancer free and  celebrating 4 years post stem cell transplant on 29th November this year. Happy days!!