Monday 9 May 2016

FEELING A LITTLE LOST

I feel like I have lost a little bit of myself recently, I cannot put my finger on it but I feel a lot more stressed at times and feel I need to let myself relax more. I worry an awful lot about the smallest crap and have lost a little of my positive mind. I find myself feeling wound up a lot and being angry isn't healthy at all. 
I am however working on this and it sounds totally random but I started swimming a few weeks ago, which I absolutely love and it makes me feel relaxed. I enjoy helping others out, spending time with family and friends but also forget how nice it is to spend time alone, tucked up in my little room in our family home. 
I used to write a lot more, enjoy it more and used to feel great after writing and posting, almost in a therapeutic way and I feel that I have lost that feeling. 
I tend to keep myself constantly busy so I don't over think about anything, I am not unhappy but feel I need to wind down a little more in my own little bubble. 
I should be feeling over the moon, after al the shit I have faced, I am cancer free and alive and mostly feeling great, I have amazing family and friends and live a happy life!
 I still feel fatigued at times but it happens a lot less nowadays. 
I need a focus and at the moment it is working on a charity event for Wig Wednesday which I am putting a lot of my time and effort into and should be a successful event. 

2 comments:

  1. I think it is common for us to feel stressed and fatigued after cancer. It's kind of a post traumatic stress disorder, like soldiers suffer after they return from the war. We've been through such horrific change in our lives and it's hard to figure out where we go from here. Don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself time to focus on you. Do the things you love to do and just live in the moment for a while. It's okay! You deserve it!!! And remember, there are so many people who love you and care about you and who want the best for you...even those people, like me, who you've never met in person before! We can still be friends even if only through the computer.

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    1. Thank you so much! I think it's because I am now 3 years post and I like to see and think myself as better and I do honestly feel much better but there's still not the full feeling I used to have. I think there's worse days I have if that makes sense. You are totally right, we do deserve to focus on ourselves. Oh that's lovely, We can be friends, it's like a community of people you meet post and during cancer. I have just spent my evening reading your blog posts. You are an amazing woman. My new friend Bonnie :)x

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