Monday, 31 March 2014

Getting Over Cancer

Getting over cancer is a lot easier said than done. I don't think I will ever get over having cancer as it is a life changing experience which has made me view my life in a different perspective. It has changed both my present life and my future. 

You realise that life is too short to worry about little things such as how you look, money or disputes between people. I am cancer free today and am looking forward to this November when I will receive my all clear. Even though I am cancer free, I still suffer with side effects from the treatment. One of them being chronic fatigue which I am currently trying to build my strength up to if not to overcome but improve this. After having treatment the doctors don't warn you how emotionally draining cancer is, it is so had to move on and forget and very few cancer survivors can do this. For those people who can completely move on and forget forever, I wish I had your super power to do so. Now I am out of hospital and clear of cancer, people assume you are all better & I really wish this was the case. Of course I feel so much better now than before treatment and hope to eventually recover back to my normal self. 

Cancer doesn't just effect your body physically but it effects you emotionally a lot and as family and friends will know that sometimes I may all of a sudden become angry or emotional. I try and pace myself and do as much as I can but there comes a time when I crash and then end up in bed for days and at 21 years old this is vey annoying as I should have so much energy and shouldn't get tired so easily..I feel like an 80 year old & not a 21 year old. I get tired really easily, suffer with bone and muscle pain, and my concentration level is completely crap! I find it so hard to concentrate and am always asking people the same question a few times..which is probably really annoying for them to. Apologies:) 
 I swear I still have chemo brain or when I had my TBI they blasted a lot of my memory away!
 Even though I suffer with all this, I always remind myself to stay positive and lift myself up if I do hit a low point. 
Onwards and Upwards!

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

My Month In Photos | February 2014

I love photos and anyone who knows me well knows that I love to take a lot of photos on my daily travels. I post a lot of these on network sites such as facebook, twitter & instagram. As a different post to the usual, I thought I would share some of last months photos with you. Technology amazes me how you can capture memories at the click of a button.
I always have my I Phone on me and rarely have my camera on me so they are a mixture of phone & camera snaps. 
 Myself and the girls of our family were so lucky to see The Lion King Broadway at our local Theatre. It was really AMAZING! My lovely crazy nan bought us all tickets for Christmas and I am truly grateful to have been able to see the show and would definitely go again. If you have the chance to go.. do it.The costumes and the music was so over powering...I actually cried at the beginning. = Emotional wreck!!
My niece Esme features a lot on my I Phone and camera, I see her a lot in the week and can't help taking photos of her beautiful smile. I also take lots of videos of her singing, talking and counting. This month we have been on short walks and had lots of play dates. Aunties are meant to spoilt the little ones..right?
The weather has been really really rubbish this month, it has been windy and the rain has been awful. I have invested in some new wellies & a matching rain to wear in this horrible rain when I am on my outings. I hope next month brings us some sunshine and warmer weather..bring on Summer! 
From my previous post you will know that it was my 21st birthday this month. Since I wrote a whole post about this I decided to not upload any of my camera photos, you can Click Here to see my 21st blog. These photos above are random ones from my I phone. The top left photo is a canvas present from my cousin that she made with my niece Esme. It is my favourite present by far and something that money cant buy. The bottom left is a collage of snippets of my life from the day I was born until now. My mum made this collage in a pretty frame,I have hung it on my bedroom wall and it looks beautiful. The photos in the right hand column are from my 21st party. I don't think you can see clearly but the middle photo is of the room. We decorated the whole room with tea lights in glass jars. The leading weeks up to my party we asked friends and family on Facebook if everyone could save their glass jars. We ended up collecting around 60 jars and decorated them with glass paint and ribbon and filled a few up with sweets to put on the tables. It made the room look pretty and just added a little touch to the room.
Five days after my birthday was Ella's 10th birthday. Firstly I can't believe she is 10 already, secondly I feel for my poor parents having to fork out for two birthdays in under a week, and thirdly I'm slightly devastated as after only 5 days of having my 21st birthday cards up in the living room, they have to come down. That aside she was a spoil sport on her birthday and for tea all the family and two of her friends went to Pan Asia. If you are unsure of what Pan Asia is, it's a all you can eat restaurant with all ethnicity foods there, English, Chinese & Indian I think. It was very yummy and I managed to eat three plates, even though every time I go I aim for more but it never happens. She also celebrated with a sleepover at the weekend with a few friends, they had face masks and watched girly films. 
Happy Birthday Ella Rose 

That wraps up my life in February, it has been a very busy month. But being busy means creating more memories to share with friends and family :) 
Being a busy bee also stops me from thinking too much about what I have been through and that is in some way a good thing.

Sunday, 2 March 2014

New Hair Do

After 15 months of my hair growing it is now at that 'awkward stage' I am not complaining as having some hair is better than no hair right? It's just so hard to style an awkward hair length.
 I have to say that my hair now is completely different to my hair before. Before having cancer my hair was really long, straight,  thick and blonde...I say blonde but my natural hair colour was dark mousey as I used to get my hair highlighted often. Now after cancer my hair is short (obviously), curly (especially when It's wet or I am extremely hot) really thick (thicker than before...I didn't know this was possible) and a dark brown colour (the same as my brother..weird).I decided to have a few highlights put in. At first I hated it as it was noticeable and different to having dark hair. As my birthday was this weekend just gone I wanted to do something a bit different with it and as it is at such an awkward length and I have to grip the back up I decided for a colour. After looking at photo's from my birthday I think it looks nice and doesn't make my hair look so 'blocky'. I say this but will it be one of those where you look back and think what the hell was I thinking. 
It felt weird having my 'new hair' highlighted as It has never had colour or anything put on it and the fact that before cancer, it used to be such a common thing for me to have strange. I really can't wait for my hair to grow a lot more and get past this really awkward length..I am looking forward to having a bob and seeing how it grows out..will the curls grow out and straighten? will I have super wavy hair?  OR will I have  beyonce curls? 
I'm just glad it is growing as sometimes after treatment your hair can never grow back, so I am very grateful that it is growing.

Always Smiling x