Sunday, 20 September 2015


When I compare myself to how I used to be and feel just after my treatment I am at a much better place right now. I wouldn't say I am back to my normal self and I am not sure if I ever will feel completely normal. I guess that only time will tell. 
I have days, which are rare where I act like a complete recluse and distance myself from everyone and everything.

I am not aware of the cause of this, is it because of what I have been through? Is it because of my emotional level now? I am really unsure and wish I had an answer. 
It is such a horrible feeling and the only way I can explain it is when you feel poorly and have no energy to do much except I have no energy to talk to anyone anyone.
 It isn't a case of not being bothered to do so, it's a mood that I just cannot shift.
 It is the most annoying feeling considering I am usually very happy and very outgoing. 

I feel like a complete odd ball, especially when I have to turn down meeting up with friends and my general mood on these 'unsociable' days. 
I am aware that it could be an experience related cause only because I have spoken with a friend who has experienced cancer and he feels the same.

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